How losing 97% of my friends in less then a year helped me find myself…

Michael A McNair
Mar 23, 2020
3 min read

Original Published on: October 5th, 2017

Sometimes we believe that we are always going to be around our friends forever, and that we have these types of people in our life. We grow old and everyone will have a happy ending…..Wrong!

I have always struggled with getting people out of my life because I love people. I love having good friends and being around people most of the time. You can call me an extrovert but in actuality I consider myself a dose of both.

We all heard of that saying “If you are not losing friends, you’re not growing up” blah blah blah. What I want is to lift the same friends that I have up in the air and say “yayyyy we did it, and we were together the whole time”

Unfortunately it isn’t like that. I had to come to an conclusion that those same people that have been in my life for over a decade or more that I wasn’t going to be their friend anymore. I had to realize that we just don’t see eye to eye anymore. That it has nothing to do with something I did or you did but we aren’t the same people we were at those moments in life when we met.

Some of the above you might be feeling as well. Here are some Tips for picking out those feelings:

Does he or she lift you up when you have an idea
Anything you look to do by yourself does that person fight you on it?
Are they constantly upgrading themselves? (mentally)
Do you compare new books you have read?
Do you take step backs with each other?
Can he talk about your marriage peacefully?
Does he/she encourage you to grow ?

These tips are just the tip of the iceberg. As a human being I have always felt that we are capable of being able to do anything at anytime. Why can’t we find people that can take us on that journey?

As I was younger I always played basketball…Hence the awards blah, blah blah.

I hung around basketball players, and sports figures my entire life. So when people look at me now they are puzzled at the fact that I am doing what I am doing just being another “basketball player”

My teammates laughed at me when I wanted to start my first company in college…Great support :)

I built a basketball business from one client a week to having thousands of clients and getting to train kids in other countries. Including Germany & Italy.

So much for support…

Questions:

How do you cope with arguments with friends?

Are you still friends with the same people you were with in Highschool…college?

Have you ever stop to look at the people that are in you’re life currently?

— — — — — — — — — — — Take time to think — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Understand that the brain that you have in your head is powered by electrons. The brain that you have needs to be stimulated, and understand that when you stop growing and increasing, or more so challenging yourself you

If the people in your world don’t help you by pushing you… supporting good habits… pushing you to read more… getting you out of you’re comfort zone….How about you be that friend to do it?

Ok ok ok….back to it.

So as I started to look at the people in my life differently. I started to change slightly but it was what I needed. I felt that I got shot with a pill of adderall and I just couldn’t stop learning about everything. I was hooked, and I started to read more.

I started to challenge myself to learn more. I did everything that I felt I couldn’t do because I wasn’t going to be judged by my actions or feel inferior because of my questions. Which no one should feel that way

“The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge”- Thomas Berger

I actually thank all of them for being the way they were. I didn’t know who I was until I started to find out different things about me that really mattered.

Do you feel bad?

Please don’t & Understand that this might not be the case for you.

Something drastic might have to happen in order for you to understand who the people around you really are! I call that CRASHING!

It is ok to crash, you are not alone and we are all people. Do me a favor and pick up the pieces and keep going!